Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Last of illusion, The.


aaaaa
nak satu! nak satu!
*confused*

3-3 macam cantik.

which one should I go for?

Monday, February 23, 2009

Damn, this is my chance.

I'm strong on the surface
not all the way through
I've never been perfect
but neither have you!

now can you see?

let me live, please.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Oh yeah.

yeay for a pink Western Digital portable HDD purchased.
yeay for a leather portable HDD case purchased.
yeay for a pink laptop hand-carry bag purchased.
yeay for a pink USB hub purchased.
yeay for a keyboard skin purchased.
yeay for Skin Food creamy eye liner purchased.
yeay for a Nose pump purchased.

yeay yeay yeay.

ka-ching : 320rm++

hebat kan belanjawan aku?

:)

Friday, February 20, 2009

You gave it away.

I'm done baby, DONE!

Monday, February 16, 2009

To the one and only.

he lied.
he caused troubles.
he acted unpredictably.

so?

he doesn't see any problem with that.
he doesn't think that it's a sin either.
he doesn't care if it hurts.
he's taking us for granted.
and that's the major problem.

I'm losing my patience.
I'm losing my confidence though.

I'm trying my very best to help whenever I could.

but if the person himself doesn't have the heart to change then I don't see any possibility that everything will turn out the way they planned. am I right? deep down, I knew it's him who had to change himself first and listen to others.

honestly I don't know what to do anymore.

he's not a 3-years-old toddler for everyone to keep telling him what to do. he's big enough to think about himself and make wise decisions. till now, I don't know why he makes everything so hard for all of us. I can't actually detect where exactly things started to go wrong. I keep questioning myself if he ever thinks of us when he's in a crime zone.

and I wonder if he knows he's all I think about for the past nights.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Empat belas hari bulan dua tahun dua ribu sembilan.

oh ok. I didn't get the pictures yet but I steal these from Nunun's. haha. ala sorry la. here are pictures of going crazy, of Iena lepas muntah sebab angin, of after makan, of while walking, of Im with the guys for the last time and of everyone!

:)


btw, selepas itu aku mendapat tau mereka telah bermain-main di KLCC sampai malam. oh sungguh menyampah.

I hate this part right here, I seriously do.

jadi akhirnya Im meninggalkan bumi Malaysia. sampai KLIA at 3.00 pm, queue untuk luggage at 5.00 pm, check-in at 7.30 pm and off to Aussie at 9.45 pm. gila aku tahan rasa nak nangis kat airport semalam. Nazat muka memang dah lain dah. Nunun lagi la. cover dengan brochure KLIA konon. macam orang tak tau ja hang nak gheyau. haha. takpa, aku paham Nazat. bukan sengang kan? dari from 1 and till death tear you guys apart.

tadi 11.00 am lepas bangun, text Haz and Haz cakap Im dah sampai Melbourne and on the way to Canberra. ah jangan sedih-sedih lagi. nanti Im balik cuti, kita buat pesta 3 hari 3 malam ok. kan Im cakap Aussie nya ticket nak balik Malaysia tak mahal sangat. raya pun dia cakap maybe dia balik. do not worry. as Ped cakap before, put on a smile and keep going...


seperti ini :)

when I look back, everything is unbelievable. rasa macam semalam baru kenal Im kat kelas 1 Cemerlang. rasa baru semalam nampak Nazat pi sekolah dengan muka bengkak-bengkak sebab salah makan ubat. rasa baru semalam nampak budak-budak ni gelak-gelak dekat City Point. rasa baru semalam main lari-lari keliling kelas. rasa baru semalam pi sukantara rumah Mutiara dengan Haz dan lain-lain.


tiba-tiba sekarang dah besar kan? dah 20 tahun masing-masing. haih. it's hard to believe everybody's gone to their separate ways. will there be a time for us to sit and reminisce the past? hopefully.

act I want to post some pictures here for others who wasn't there yesterday to look at. tapi, unluckily, all those pictures were taken from Enna's digi cam and phone. ada 3 ketul je kut dalam phone aku. and itu pun gambar Iena, Nunun and Abang tengah lepak makan. bukannya ada Im pun. tak yah lah. tunggu aku collect gambar-gambar from Enna dulu cuti nanti.

today is Sunday and I'm resting silently in my room. gila baik tak keluar lepak mana-mana. haha. sebabnya ada banyak assignment. banyak betul-betul na. bukan tipu-tipu. tapi, sekarang dah 3.00 pm lebih and I still haven't start anything. entah. tak tau nak pegang mana satu dulu. list assignment-to-be-done memang dah buat cuma tak ikut je.

malam nanti ada practice drama lagi. and the competition is on this coming Friday. so, nak berhempas pulas pun minggu ni je lah. kepada rakan-rakan actor/actresses, buat yang terbaik ok. bukan untuk aku atau siapa-siapa tapi for the sake of '1 PISMP Mathematics 2' nya nama. kepada yang belum hafal skrip, sila hafal. kepada yang belum ingat part mana kena masuk, tolong ingat. and it applies to semua lah. be more alert, be in mood and blablabla. jum kalahkan kelas-kelas lain.


kita boleh. yeah!

*sorry ada separuh saja. this picture was taken while waiting for others to come. tu la. siapa suruh datang lambat sangat. kan dah takda dalam gambar. :p

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Hanya bagai angin lalu.

hari ni aku sedar yang Tuhan kurniakan aku sifat sabar yang AMAT tinggi bagi menghadapi apa-apa saja halangan atau dugaan yang mendatang.

ceh.

I just did seriously. yep I'm grateful for that, and for those who'd helped.

*psst, you know who you are.

:)

kiranya tadak la teruk sangat aku ni kan. ada la jugak good qualities in me. haha. yesss I know. oh you shut up. I don't want to hear anything from you, you and you. get the hell outta here.

nak tanya, pernah rasa diri sendiri bangang tak bila asyik tunggu phone call from someone that we really hope to talk to when actually he/she didn't even care for you?

haish. jum terjun bangunan sama-sama.

you don't have to be so nice in the first place.
you don't have to be so sweet too, sweet-bullshit-talker!

g'night peeps~

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Realizing the fact that she never had.

situasi 1 :

mampus kau ah nak cakap atau plan apa pun.
ingat aku kisah?

jangan kacau hidup atau duit aku sudah.

situasi 2 :

untuk kawan-kawan, aku mintak maaf lagi sekali. bukan sengaja aku diam seminggu dua ni. bukan aku tak mau text atau angkat call. tapi, tu la. aku tak tau la pasai apa dengan aku ni. susah nak explain. aku rasa menyampah masa tu sebenaqnya. tiba-tiba ja kan? ish. thanks gila wey pasai sabaq dengan perangai aku malam tu. aku janji ada masa kita jumpa na. aku belanja char koey tiaw dengan nyanyi Lagu Untuk Kawan-Kawan Mohd Jayzuan tu sebagai tanda ampun dan maaf. jangan marah sama aku. aku ok balik dah ni.

aku sedaq aku yang salah bila ada orang cakap dengan aku 'senangnya hidup hang. susah sikit, lari. boring sikit, give up.' pikiaq-pikiaq balik, aku tak mau jadi orang macam tu. aku nak jadi sebaik-baik insan walaupun aku tau aku ni tak baik mana sangat. tapi at least aku berusaha betui dak daripada asyik kutuk orang. aku cuba jadi bertanggungjawab. aku cuba buat baik dengan orang. mungkin approach aku salah kut. tapi ada ja yang kondem sana, kondem sini. perli dia tu, tak suka dia ni. yang lawaknya, tak dak sebab munasabah pulak tu. semata-mata pasai tak berkenan kat orang lain. padahai dia tu haram tak bagi sumbangan apa pun.

aku sayang kawan-kawan. aaa. susahnya hidup. aku cuba ok. aku tak janji. aku nak jadi kawan yang terbaik untuk hampa semua. ah aku suka tengok kugiran kawan-kawan aku. aku support hampa ok. put me in your number one fan list.

kepada Imran Redzuan, selamat berangkat ke Canberra this coming Sat. aku tak tau la dan ka dak nak pi hantaq hang kat KLIA. kalau depa ajak and aku free, insyaAllah aku sampai. Im, aku berangan nanti aku kumpul duit. dah cukup, aku ajak geng mamu ramai-ramai pi melawat hang kat sana ok. tapi, hang kena la make sure hang ada masa nak bawak kami pi jalan-jalan. buleh dak? apa pun, selamat berjuang kawan!

situasi 3 :

tadi Bapak call masa lunch hour dia. aku tak dan angkat pasai aku tengah practice drama. belek-belek phone ada misscall la pulak. aku teruih misscall balik. nasib baik pagi tadi topup dah kat Pah.

'awat tak angkat tadi? pi mana?'
'kat hall ni. tadi tengah practice drama. tak dengaq'
'Bapak kat Putrajaya ni'

'la, bila mai sini?'
'semalam'
'tak habaq pun...' (sumpah aku rasa nak merajuk dah masa tu)
'sebab mai sat saja. malam ni flight pukui 8 balik sana'
'oh tak pa lah'
'ha. Nani, Masi Shila, Masi Bibi semua nak mai KL lusa. Yana konvo. depa kata depa nak mai kat tempat Fani sekali kut sebelum depa balik'
'aa. Kak Long bertunang minggu ni ka minggu depan?'
'Masi Pah kata minggu depan pasai minggu ni Abang Jie dengan Kak Long nak pi fitting dulu kat Penang'
'ok. nanti tanya la depa nak buat theme colour apa. buleh ajak Mak pi shopping siap-siap'
'yang tu kita pakat lain la nanti. Bapak ada meeting ni. bye'
'bye'

aku rasa depa tak payah mai pun tak pa. aku tak mau jumpa sapa-sapa. aku tak mau dengaq apa-apa dah. cukup-cukup la. tahun ni aku 20. bagi la aku ruang untuk aku jadi aku dan capai apa yang aku mampu. aku tak mau dikaitkan dengan sapa-sapa. jika perasan, sebab tu aku tukaq topik tadi. teruih tanya pasai Kak Long. sebab aku dah tak mau dengaq pasai sapa-sapa.

Yana nak pi Jepun. jadi?
lantak dia la.

aku nak duduk Malaysia.
aku tak mau jauh dengan Bapak Mak Mohd Irfan.

tipu.
alasan saja kan?

dah tu nak buat apa lagi.
tak kan nak ghenggah gheyau kut.

tu gila namanya.

sudah lah tiga situasi. aku bukan nak lawan champ lagu Situasi Bunkface tu.

lupa pulak, malam ni ada sesi memperkenalkan Calon JPP 09/10. cuba tanya, apa kaitan benda alah tu dengan aku? jawapannya ialah aku salah sorang Calon JPP! haha. ketaq dak?

*bagi yang tak paham, ketaq dak membawa maksud gempak tak. lebih kurang camtu la maksudnya.*

Monday, February 9, 2009

Cause they stick up for me.

Empty Decorations

I wake in the dawn to showers of light
of emptiness that surround
floating away with auras of hope
but reality brings me down to the ground

what can I do?
what can I say?

I need a place to hide away
just for a while, just for a smile
just for the life I used to know

where every song
was filled with words of love and not of anger
where did they go?
why did they leave me behind?

cause I don't wanna be alone
living life all on my own
I don't wanna live my life in isolation
filled with empty decorations
cause I wanna be with the people that I know

who will do the things I do
making all my dreams come true
I don't recognise the shadows on my door
although I've seen it all before
because the only thing I really want, is to be with you

I look at the sky, it looks back at me
I can't hear the silent melodies
I know that I'm here yet I am lost
blown in confusion by the breeze

hiding my face, crying alone
I need to find my way back home
back to the place, the wonderful days
living the life I used to know

where every smile
was born out of love and of sincerity
and every tear of overflowing joy.

- the life is yours. long live you, girl. :) -

Saturday, February 7, 2009

I swear I'd be good.

this feeling of guilty is killing me. haih sumpah rasa bersalah. rasa bersalah gila. aku tau, aku tau. aku bukan sengaja. aku tak sangka nak jadi macam tu. kepada yang berkenaan, aku betul-betul mintak maaf. aku tak tau nak jadi seserius tu. mula-mula aku ingat tadak hal la, small matter saja. aku tak tau benda tu penting sebenarnya. kalau aku boleh ulang balik masa, mesti aku takkan lupa bawak.

tetap rasa bersalah lagi.

macam mana ha? nak confront, tapi takut. nak bagi notes macam Adik Tgh selalu buat, tapi segan. nak suruh orang lain bagitau, tapi apa pulak dia kata nanti. jadi, aku tulis sini. bodoh la aku ni kadang-kadang. kenapa aku cuai sangat sampai tahap macam tu hah? kenapa aku tak sedar betapa bermaknanya benda tu? mampus ah. benda dah jadi.

wey, is it enough with a maaf?

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Tertunggu selama ini tak ku jumpa.

masa jalan-jalan tadi nampak ada sorang minah blogger ni tulis,

'pergi mati balik hari.'

ush.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Kepada celaka-celaka sekalian.

KLIK SINI

fitnah? konspirasi? atau diskriminasi? atau orang yang dengki? atau itu yang sebenarnya terjadi?

bukan gambar itu yang menjadi momokan.

tetapi, baca komen mereka. betapa racist nya sesetengah Malaysians masa kini. untuk apa racist? fuck mereka. dan baca komen-komen dari si Tanpa Nama.
winner, reek, yoy, samp sebagai contoh. banyak lagi di bawah sana. jadi sila baca sampai habis.

anonymous? babi betul kau kan sang penakut. hanya cakap belakang-belakang. mari bertepuk tampar depan-depan la.

oh btw, selamat membaca dan mencarut.

You have insufficient balance, please try again later.

semalam nangis dengan horrible lagi di bilik Elley together with Adik Tgh and Elley herself. haih. sampai bila hah? hahaha. tak tau nak buat macam mana. ada je insiden-insiden menyentuh perasaaan setiap hari. Adik Tgh la yang start dulu. tiba-tiba je paling belakang. tengok-tengok dah merah. dah la Elley pun banyak buat ayat-ayat yang sumpah sedih. dah tu, tiga-tiga macam orang gila nangis and gelak.

menyampah betui. tu semalam.

hari ni, baru balik. tadi pergi JJ. beli Kao Attack, Chrysanthemum Tea, Tic-tac (tiru Mr. PS kata Kak Tgh), and that's it. sikit saja. tengah sibuk mengawal perbelanjaan. and bila tengok this one attractive stripe Goggle's cardigan, terpaksa tengok saja lah. try pun tak. kesian kan? Kak Wae pun kesian jugak. dah nampak satu brown-ish tees kat Padini tapi seperti aku, setakat tengok je la. 70% pulak tu. hahaha.

biar. biar.

orang kat Palestin sana tu nak makan pun susah. betui tak? jadi, berSYUKUR! mari berSYUKUR beramai-ramai rakan-rakan!

*senyuuummm"

tadi jugak la ada dua minah KRS berpakaian serba hijau dengan yakin nak naik escalator yang menghala turun bawah. hahaha. tak rasa lawak ke? memang lawak. Adik Tgh dah gelak horror siap cangkung-cangkung lagi tepi Guardian. Kak Tgh was like 'awat wey? awat?' gilaaa lawak. muka mereka memang confident gila masa nak naik escalator tu. itu yang paling lawak sebenarnya.

terhibur tengok gelagat-gelagat rakyat Malaysia.

*mood : bahagia*

klik SINI untuk melihat keJAHILan seorang hamba terhadap agamanya.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Now you say you're a med student?

we went to Bukit Wang for a picnic last Sat and it was a total fun. yaiy. for Imran, it's the last gathering with us Jitra Clans (the way he call us), as he'll be away for Australia this coming 14th February. takpa Im, strive for the best while you still have the chance ok? an accountant to-be. *wow-ing* ah lupa. Nazar jugak. he's going to Jerman within the year. I wish you guys all the best there. Haz, jangan cengeng please. Im will be back for you punya lah. cece. haha. it will take around 4 years saja if I'm not mistaken. btw, cute oh mereka berdua. smells like roti telur and kari daging. what I'm trying to say is they look deliciously together. :)

Mamu didn't make it to our 'meeting' this time around. he went to somewhere which I don't know where. awkward pulak since he used to be there whenever we were called upon for a 'meeting'. Kadesh showed up with a sleepy face and a pair of blue contact lenses. yes, it's BLUE. but only for a couple of minutes because he just got back from Penang. it's clearly he didn't get his sleep last night. Pak Di and a friend of his came too but they're on the way to pick up Pak Di's lappy at Alor Star so they can't stay long.

it was a blast for what we do is eat, swim, talk, laugh, jokes and eat again. to make it simple, I really enjoyed! and I guess I've found the cure for my boredom-ness the past few days. one more, I stole these pictures from Imran! ala, because I didn't collect all those pictures from Enna yet. on my next hols I'll collect because I'm going back to Cheras tonight.

take a look at those aite? later!



p/s : Im with the green towel and Nazar with the so-called cute smile. :p