Hard when you decide it's hard.

Imperfection will always be questioned by people. I'm one of the kind. I might be harsh from the outside but I did plant the soft side inside me. I try to do things in order, in the best way I could. I hope everyone would understand of what I'm doing. I really tried. at first, I felt I'm like an idiot standing in the middle of everything and give orders to everyone. what will they think of me? that I'm not that damn good to tell them what to do? entah. I would never know.

or maybe I'm the one who picture these things inside my mind while they think differently?

if that is so, thank you. as you know, I'ma first timer. I need time to cope with all these sudden stuff. and to make it worse, people that I hope to give me motivational advices didn't turn up to do so.

I expect a lot from people I guess. it's time to get a grip on myself and stop counting on others.

to Adik Tgh and Didiey, it's truly great to have you guys near me. mucho mucho gracias for the strength that you've lend me. for the hope that we can work this out together, for all the guidance, for the faith that you have in me, for one thing and everything. and for Adik Tgh, thanks for the 'tissue' to wipe my tears away. I don't dare to imagine what will I do without these thoughts that you'd given me.

:) :) :)

LOVE.

always have always will.

pasha!